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April 1, 2025

Neurodiversity-affirming language: Building respectful and inclusive conversations

Learn about neurodiversity affirming language to promote respect and understanding, supporting positive communication with neurodivergent individuals.

author
Fiona Affronti

Language has the power to shape our perceptions, and for neurodivergent individuals, the words we use can either affirm their identity or reinforce harmful stereotypes. By adopting neurodiversity-affirming language, we not only challenge societal biases but also contribute to creating a more inclusive world where neurological differences are celebrated, not stigmatized

Introduction 

Imagine being told every day that the way you think, feel, or experience the world is "wrong" or "broken." This is the reality for many neurodivergent individuals, whose experiences often fall outside the societal norms of cognitive and emotional functioning. According to a study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, about 1 in 5 children aged 3-17 in the U.S. live with a mental health condition or neurological difference. 

Yet, despite this high prevalence, these individuals are often marginalized by language that reinforces stereotypes or stigmas. The neurodiversity movement, which champions the idea that neurological variations like autism, ADHD, and dyslexia are simply different ways of being, not disorders to be fixed, is changing the conversation. By embracing neurodiversity-affirming language, we can challenge long-held biases and shift societal perspectives. 

Over the course of this article, we highlight how the words we use not only reflect but also shape our attitudes toward neurodivergent individuals, fostering more inclusive environments that affirm their inherent value. Neurodiversity-affirming language is not just about using the right terms—it’s about embracing human differences and recognizing the full spectrum of cognitive and emotional experiences as valid and worthy of respect.

What Is Neurodiversity-Affirming Language?

Neurodiversity-affirming language is an approach that recognizes and respects the natural variation in human brains and minds, particularly for those with conditions like autism, ADHD, and dyslexia. Instead of viewing these neurological differences as disorders to be fixed or "cured," neurodiversity-affirming language frames them as part of the spectrum of human diversity—highlighting the strengths, unique perspectives, and abilities that these differences can bring. This contrasts with medicalized or deficit-based language, which often focuses on what individuals lack or need to "overcome." For example, instead of labeling a child with ADHD as "hyperactive" or "impulsive," neurodiversity-affirming language might describe them as "energetic" or "innovative," emphasizing their potential rather than framing them solely by their challenges. This shift in language can promote greater understanding, acceptance, and inclusion for children and adults with neurological differences.

Respecting identity and self-determination is a core principle of neurodiversity-affirming language. It’s important to center the preferences of neurodivergent individuals, recognizing that they are the best advocates for their own experiences. This means listening to how they describe themselves and honoring their chosen labels and terms. For instance, some individuals with autism may prefer to identify as "autistic," while others may prefer "person with autism"—and both preferences are perfectly valid. It’s also crucial to avoid harmful or outdated terms that perpetuate stigma or negative stereotypes. Terms like "suffering from autism" or "afflicted with ADHD" can imply that these conditions are burdens rather than inherent aspects of a person's identity. Instead, using language that reflects dignity and respect—such as "autistic individual" or "individual with ADHD"—helps empower neurodivergent people and promotes a more inclusive, compassionate society. This approach not only supports a positive self-image but also fosters an environment where individuals feel understood and accepted.

Why Language Matters 

Language holds tremendous power—it shapes how we think, how we behave, and how we relate to one another. The words we use can influence our attitudes, perceptions, and even our expectations. When we adopt neurodiversity-affirming language, we help shift cultural narratives from one of deficit and "otherness" to one of acceptance and respect. For example, referring to a child with ADHD as "creative" or "out-of-the-box thinker" instead of "distracted" or "disruptive" encourages a more positive outlook. This simple change in language can foster an environment where individuals feel valued for their unique qualities rather than being defined solely by their challenges.

Using affirming language has profound emotional and psychological benefits for neurodivergent individuals (National Institutes of Health). When children and adults are addressed with respect and kindness through language, it boosts their self-esteem, reduces feelings of shame, and supports a healthier sense of identity. One neurodivergent adult shared, "When people refer to me as ‘an individual with autism’ rather than ‘autistic,’ it feels like they understand that autism is a part of me, not something that defines me negatively. It makes me feel accepted." Such affirming language can improve overall mental well-being by fostering a sense of belonging and validation. For children in particular, hearing affirming language from parents, educators, and peers can help them navigate the world with greater confidence, develop healthy beliefs about mental health, and build a supportive community.

Unfortunately, language rooted in ableism—the belief that non-neurotypical minds are inferior—continues to perpetuate stigma (Center for Disability Rights). Terms like "suffering from autism" or "disorder" imply that something is inherently wrong, setting a harmful tone for how neurodivergent people are viewed in society. These narratives can lead to discrimination, social exclusion, and internalized negativity. Neurodiversity-affirming language challenges these outdated and harmful perspectives by recognizing the value and diversity of neurological differences. By using language that focuses on ability, strength, and individuality, we help dismantle stereotypes and foster a more inclusive, compassionate world. In doing so, we create a culture where neurodivergent individuals are seen as whole, capable people—not as problems to be fixed.

Common Language Shifts for Affirmation 

When discussing neurodivergence, one important consideration is the distinction between person-first and identity-first language. Person-first language, such as "person with autism," emphasizes the individual before their diagnosis or condition, which some people prefer as it allows them to be seen as a person first, with a condition second. Identity-first language, such as "autistic person," frames the condition as an integral part of who they are, which many individuals, particularly in the autism community, prefer because it aligns with their identity. The key takeaway is that the choice between person-first and identity-first language is deeply personal, and it’s crucial to respect individual preferences. When in doubt, ask the person how they prefer to be described, and be open to adjusting your language based on their response. This shows respect for their identity and self-determination, fostering a more inclusive environment.

Another important aspect of neurodiversity-affirming language is moving away from deficit-based terms that focus on what a person cannot do. Terms like “high functioning” and “low functioning” are harmful because they reduce individuals to a set of capabilities or perceived limitations, often ignoring the full complexity of their experiences. Similarly, phrases like "suffering from autism" or "disorder" suggest that there is something inherently wrong with the individual, rather than highlighting their strengths and abilities. Instead, use more neutral or empowering alternatives such as "support needs" (to describe the level of assistance someone may require) or "neurodivergent" (to acknowledge a difference in neurological wiring without negative connotations). These terms encourage a more holistic view of neurodivergent individuals, focusing on the person as a whole rather than their challenges.

Ableist language often perpetuates harmful stereotypes and misconceptions about neurodivergent people. Phrases like “overcoming their autism” imply that autism is something to be defeated or transcended, which can lead to feelings of shame or inadequacy in individuals who do not fit into these narrow, unrealistic expectations. Instead of framing autism or ADHD as something that needs to be “overcome,” we should embrace narratives that focus on adapting environments and offering appropriate support to help neurodivergent individuals thrive. For example, you could say "finding strategies to navigate challenges" or "embracing neurodiversity in all its forms." By reframing these ideas, we move away from ableism and create a more supportive and accepting culture.

How to Practice Neurodiversity-Affirming Language 

One of the most powerful ways to foster neurodiversity-affirming language is by listening to the voices of those with lived experiences. Neurodivergent individuals are the experts of their own lives and can offer invaluable insight into what language is most meaningful and empowering. As advocates like Temple Grandin, an autistic scholar and speaker, often highlight, being seen and heard for who you truly are can be transformative. Another autism advocate, Alexa Lauenburger, has illuminated this very thought with the quote, “Autism is my superpower, what's yours?” This shift in perspective—viewing neurodiversity as a strength rather than a limitation—can only happen by valuing the experiences and preferences of neurodivergent people themselves. There are numerous resources available, from books like NeuroTribes by Steve Silberman to online communities and social media platforms where neurodivergent voices share their perspectives. Listening to these voices ensures that the language we use is not only affirming but also grounded in real, lived experiences.

As parents, educators, and community members, we all play a role in promoting neurodiversity-affirming language. A good starting point is to reflect on your own language and the subtle ways it may unintentionally reflect deficit-based or ableist assumptions. For example, examining how we speak about differences—whether at home, at work, or in social settings—can help us identify areas for growth. Small steps, like choosing words that focus on abilities instead of limitations, can have a big impact. Encouraging the use of affirming language in schools, workplaces, and other community spaces is equally important. 

Teachers can incorporate affirming language into their classrooms, leaders can advocate for neurodiversity in workplace policies, and parents can model these practices at home. This collective shift in language creates an environment where neurodivergent individuals feel valued and supported, which can lead to greater inclusion and acceptance.

It’s also important to acknowledge that changing our language is a process, and mistakes will happen. You might unintentionally use non-affirming language or phrases that don’t align with someone’s preferences. When this occurs, it’s crucial to approach the situation with humility and grace. Acknowledge the mistake, apologize sincerely, and use the opportunity to learn and grow. For example, if you accidentally say "suffering from autism," you might say, "I’m sorry, I realize that language doesn’t reflect how you see your autism. Thank you for helping me understand the right terms to use." The key is to listen, learn, and make adjustments without becoming defensive or dismissive. 

Openness not only strengthens relationships but also demonstrates a commitment to respecting neurodivergent identities. Over time, your efforts to use affirming language will become more natural, and you will contribute to a broader cultural shift toward respect, inclusion, and understanding.

The Broader Impact of Neurodiversity-Affirming Language 

Language plays a critical role in shaping the policies, access, and support available to neurodivergent individuals. When communities adopt neurodiversity-affirming language, it not only affects personal interactions but also influences larger systems such as education, healthcare, and employment. For example, in schools that use affirming language, there is often a greater focus on providing accommodations and creating inclusive environments that allow neurodivergent students to thrive. Policies that reflect an understanding of neurodiversity—such as those that emphasize individualized support rather than standardized approaches—can lead to more equitable access to resources. In workplaces, using affirming language about neurodivergent employees can create more inclusive hiring practices and better support systems, allowing these individuals to contribute their unique skills and perspectives. When language reflects a community's commitment to inclusion, it sends a powerful message that neurodivergent people are valued, supported, and fully included in society - because they are!

As more individuals and institutions shift towards using affirming language, we contribute to the broader cultural change that embraces neurodiversity as a natural and valuable part of human life. This cultural shift encourages society to rethink outdated stereotypes, break down barriers to inclusion, and celebrate the strengths of neurodivergent individuals. For instance, organizations like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) advocate for the use of language that centers neurodivergent voices and experiences, pushing for policies that honor the dignity and rights of individuals with autism and other neurodivergent traits.

Conclusion

In summary, neurodiversity-affirming language is more than just a set of terms—it’s a mindset that recognizes and celebrates the natural variations in human neurology. By using language that emphasizes strengths, respects individual identities, and avoids harmful stereotypes, we can create environments where neurodivergent individuals feel valued and understood. This simple but powerful shift in language ripples outward, influencing not only personal relationships but also policies, workplaces, schools, and communities. It helps dismantle systemic ableism, fosters inclusion, and empowers neurodivergent people to thrive.

Now, it’s your turn. Take a moment to reflect on the language you use daily—whether with family, friends, colleagues, or in broader community settings. Are there words you can change to be more affirming? Small changes in the way we speak can have a huge impact on creating a more inclusive and supportive world for everyone.

Remember, each one of us plays a vital role in fostering a culture of respect and understanding. By choosing our words carefully and thoughtfully, we can help build a future where neurodivergent individuals are celebrated for who they are, and where diversity is embraced as a source of strength. Together, we can create a more compassionate, inclusive world—one word at a time.

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